Painstakingly wondering which clothes to wear, Rob shook his head in dismay.
"It doesn't matter what you wear. We're not going anywhere special." He told her.
Special? This was a big deal. And Seren scrunched her gypsy skirt tightly between clenched hands. In the end she decided on her old worn skinny jeans, tshirt and waistcoat. Of course, Rob's compliments that she looked beautiful were always welcome. But tonight she didn't seem to care.
"Look, you're over thinking this." He said, packing the last of his things into his bag. "I don't know why you're making this such a big deal."
Because the world thinks she's your girlfriend. Because she obviously means so much to you. Because it's important to me that the people you care about most like me....
"Wouldn't it be a big deal to you, if you were meeting someone important to me?" She almost whispered.
He put his things down and smiled at her, as if all the pieces of the puzzle were coming together.
"Is that it? You want to make a good impression?" And he laughed a little.
"Don't laugh!" She scolded.
He tried to stifle it. "I'm sorry, no you're right. It's not funny. I just had no idea..."
He laid his lips on her forehead and she felt it warm and soft. Closing her eyes she wondered if he was right, and not her. That she had been over thinking it.
"Kristen's my friend. She understands me in a way most other people, besides those closest to me, don't. We went into this Twilight thing together. And when it blew up in our faces we had each other to fall back on. She's just a normal girl, she found it as hard as I did."
It was probably a little bit of both. She probably was over thinking it, but she knew she was right too. And now that he knew, he held her hand tightly as their cab pulled up outside a high gated house in the hills. They opened slowly, and the house behind them was large and inconspicuous. Every house she'd seen so far had been this big, and she wondered if it were a standard. The front door was shrouded in a porch with low lighting and Seren stopped to check herself before the inevitable. She took a deep breath.
"She will love you." He whispered, and the door moved.
And then all Seren's worries seemed to slip away. A tiny girl slipped through the opening in the door. She was so much smaller than Seren thought she would be, a good 3 inches shorter and a lot slimmer. But there was no threat here. Her looks were almost boyish against Seren's curves. She was smiling enigmatically as she embraced Rob tenderly and then looked at Seren expectantly. And suddenly it occured to her, even though the thought had seemed ludicrous to her, that perhaps this was important to Kristen too. She extended her hand politely, probably would have hugged her, but she appeared nervous and so held herself back. Seren shook her hand gratefully and complimented her beautiful house.
"Ah thanks." Kristen said. "Come in."
They took their bags and she noticed in the light of the house that Kristen was far more ordinary than she'd expected. Dressed in a pair of skinny jeans not unline her own, she wore an oversized tshirt tied in a knot at her hip. Her hair was short and black, like someone had just hacked into it with a pair of scissors. Dark circles hung under eyes, and Seren realised she wasn't wearing any make up.
"It's not as bad as I thought it would be." Rob said.
And Kristen pulled at her hair and rolled her eyes. "It rocks." She said defiantly.
"She's playing Joan Jett." He explained to Seren, who nodded and tried to look impressed.
But Kristen didn't seem to notice, and only lead them towards a brightly lit kitchen with an island in the middle of the room with pizza laid out. Sitting there was a man, who looked almost as tired as Kristen. He came to shake Rob's hand and then held his arms out to greet Seren. She had no idea who he was, but she greeted him with a hug and accepted his invitation to go and eat. It soon occured to her that nobody was going to enlighten her on who this man was. Just that he was there and both Rob and Kristen knew him...
But what did it matter? She was there, and so far so good.
"I see the paps have been pretty bad." Kristen said, offering the pizza around.
There were no plates, they were just eating straight from the boxes. Seren liked this.
"They're fucking vultures." Rob almost spat and his genuine hatred for them was seeped in every word.
The man who had introduced himself as Michael shook his head.
"Man, you gotta roll with the punches. It's better in Vancouver. Just tough it out."
And Rob nodded in agreement. It struck Seren that his man was obviously threatened by Rob's presence, but respected him too. And then it became obvious who he was, as Kristen moved behind him and he leaned his head back for a passing kiss. She obliged and picked up another slice of pizza. Rob looked away, and smiled at her in a way she thought would break her heart. He loved her. And he loved Kristen. But not in the same way.
"So Seren...Rob said you'd just moved to New York." Kristen piped up, interrupting the look between them.
She turned away as if she hadn't noticed and explained what had brought her to the city. Kristen seemed genuinely interested, engrossed even, in her tales from the commune.
"I'd totally be good at that." She said afterwards. "I could totally live like that."
But Seren looked around at the integrated kitchen, and the sparkle of the swimming pool outside and wondered if she had any idea what it was really like. Many people liked the idea of living on a commune, but the reality never really lived up to the fantasy. The truth was, sometimes it was hard to live amongst people like that.
"Tell them about the Greenpeace boat." Rob urged, clearly enjoying the attention being lavished on her.
Kristen raised an eyebrow.
"I spent Christmas on a protest boat in the Arctic when I was a kid." Seren offered.
Michael and Kristen waited to hear more, but she wasn't sure what to say. It was been two months of cold and waiting. But their eyes prompted more.
"It wasn't really the Arctic." She confessed. "It was kinda more like Canada. But my brothers told me we were in the middle of the Arctic and polar bears would come if I pissed them off."
She smiled uneasily but their eyes were looking at her, almost amazed. .
"What did you do?" Kristen asked.
"My mom was always with my Dad..." She swallowed hard, Rob shot her an uneasy look that was so fleeting none would notice. " So I was with my brothers, and my sister mostly. Watching for wales, playing games, protesting..."
All ears were on her. "We went to these graves one day, one of the rare days off the boat. They were in the middle of nowhere. I found out later they were to do with this huge expedition that got lost hundreds of years ago but I never knew at the time. And another day we were followed by a pod of Orca Wales, one of them got so close we went down onto one of the life rafts to get closer. That was pretty cool."
Michael pointed a finger at her. "You're talking about the John Torrington grave, right?"
Seren shrugged.
"Yeah..." He added, getting almost excited. "Those things are legendary. They were the first to die on the Franklin Expedition to find the northwest passage. These dudes died first and got buried in the ice and then in the 80's they dug them up again and their bodies were preserved like...almost perfectly. And you went there??? Man, that is cool."
He seemed genuinely impressed. But Seren had always thought of it as one of those things which was part of her childhood. It was the fact she had spoken so freely which shocked her most. She was comfortable, and it wasn't something she'd anticipated.
"That's pretty awesome." Kristen added, her tiny frame moving from side to side in the bar stool. She bit her bottom lip and nodded for some reason unknown to Seren.
Rob seemed pleased and that's all that mattered. He held his hand against the small of her back and moved it against her gently.
"I'd better get going..." Michael suddenly announced, sliding down off his stool and swinging his jacket round his shoulders. "I'm sorry guys, I've got a 4am start, good to see you again Rob. Nice to meet you Seren..."
And he hugged her again, and she was sorry to see him go. A little more sorry than Rob seemed. But she didn't want to ask while they were in Kristen's company. Walking Michael to the door, Seren took her chance while they had a brief moment in the kitchen.
"What's the deal with you and him?"
Rob was taken aback. He looked at her perplexed. How had she noticed?
"It's nothing major. He just doesn't like the media thing either. Like it's my fault."
And there was a hint of bitterness there that Seren decided not to persue. Of course this guy was pissed off that his girlfriend was being photographed with someone else. She understood him, like Kristen and Rob had their mutual understanding.
"It's only natural." She said, and he put his pizza down.
"Yeah but it's not like I invited the attention, or like Kristen did either." He said, defending himself.
And she was sorry for bringing it up.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realise it was such a sore spot for you."
He shook it off like it was nothing, as was his way and shoved the pizza in his mouth. "No danger..." He said through chews.
When Kristen came back her face looked sullen for a moment, and then she smiled and brought out a bottle of Jack Daniels from the cupboard. Rob's eyes lit up, and suddenly Seren felt left out again.
"Twilight wrap party part 2?" Kristen asked, and Seren flinched.
Rob laughed. "We had our own after after party." He explained. "I got so drunk on this I honestly thought it was game over. I had to be carried to bed."
Seren didn't want to imagine him like that. She'd seen him drunk, when he was lovable and foppish. But it was hard work taking care of wasted people. Kristen poured out three shots and offered one to Seren. She downed it, in the face of the hospitality she'd been shown. And then they descended into a conversation about their respective filming projects. And Seren was left to the sidelines.
He didn't want to offend his friend by changing the subject. He genuinely wanted to know how things were going with her. But he could feel Seren at his side, munching pizza as if she was a thousand miles away from him. He didn't want to alienate her either, but it couldn't be helped. He resolved that he wouldn't let the conversation dominate for long, and he spoke about his long filming hours and how much he liked his co-stars he hand never left the small of Seren's back. Before he knew it, they had polished off half of the bottle of Jacks. And when he looked at Seren, she was still nodding politely at every word Kristen said. I've been an idiot...he thought. I don't deserve you...
"Anyway, that's enough office talk." He piped up suddenly. "I've drunk too much...again."
Kristen looked down, and Seren thought Was this your intention? And then she put the thought away. Didn't want to think things like that.
"Where are we sleeping tonight?" He asked, his words slightly slurred.
Kristen pointed out the door. "Same as last time."
Last time? That was a revelation to her. He'd stayed here before.
"Seren, you coming?" He asked, sliding off his stool and holding his hand out to her.
She looked at Kristen who was downing her next glass. "Yeah, I'm pretty tired. Thankyou for letting us stay here."
Kristen raised her glass. "Anytime."
She followed Rob up the stairs to a guest room which was set out ready for them. There were clean towels on the bed and a door which lead to a small en suite bathroom. There was a kingsize bed beneath a panoramic window, and opposite that was a flat screen tv on the wall. Everything was crisp white and Seren decided she liked it, despite not wanting to.
"I'm sorry." He said, as he pulled his shirt over his head. "I didn't mean to drink that much."
She could only smile. He was utterly sweet when he was like this. "No danger." She said, slipping into her own sweat pants and tshirt. He smiled at her use of his phrase and pulled the bedsheets back. She went into the bathroom and marvelled at how shiny everything was. She could still taste the Jacks in her mouth, and pulled her toothbrush out. And then cursed, because she'd forgotten to pack toothpaste.
"Damn it, Rob...I forgot the..."
But his low snores replied. He had fallen asleep with one leg on top of the covers and wouldn't be roused. She knew she'd have to go back downstairs. And for a moment she considered getting straight in bed, but the taste was too much. She was starting to feel sick.
Tip toeing down the marble stairs, it was easy to go unheard. She half considered peeking into one of the other bathrooms to see if there was any toothpaste in there but she knew she would need some in the morning too, and didn't want to be discovered as a toothpaste thief. She went back into the kitchen where Kristen was loading up the dishwasher. She didn't hear her come in.
"Ummm...Hi, sorry..." Seren stammered. "I, umm forgot to get some toothpaste...."
Kristen slammed the dishwasher shut.
"There's some in the bathroom at the top of the stairs." She said, pointing the way Seren had come.
"Thanks." She replied, before turning to hot foot away from the awkward situation.
Or maybe that's just the way she was perceiving it. Maybe Kristen didn't feel awkward at all.
"Is he passed out yet?" She then inquired.
Seren closed her eyes and at first thought about nodding before making a swift exit. But this was Kristen's house. And she was not rude.
"Yeah, out like a light."
Kristen nodded and laughed. But Seren only felt unease. "It's strange that you should know these things." She said honestly, knowing it was now or never. "I feel like you know everything about him."
Kristen's face suddenly changed. And for the first time Seren wasn't sure if she seemed hostile, or apologetic.
But then she sighed. "I don't know everything about him, I don't think anyone can know everything about a person unless they can climb inside their mind and walk around." And then she shrugged. "I know enough about him to know whisky is his weakness. But then again...there's things about him which you know which I don't."
And the undertone in her voice was mischievous. Seren almost blushed.
"I make you nervous, Don't I?" And it wasn't a question, more of a statement.
One Seren had no real answer for.
"Not you. Just that I know he cares about you."
Kristen looked at her in the eye then. "You really love him, don't you?"
Seren held her gaze. "I don't even know how it happened..."
"He's just as surprised as you are, believe me."
And even though she knew Rob had spoken to her about their relationship, it was strange to have it confirmed like that.
"Is that so?" She asked.
Kristen smiled. "Sit down. I'll get you a drink. What'll you have?"
"Coffee." She sighed. Anything but Jack Daniels.
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