It was late when Rob appeared in the kitchen doorway. He was alone. And even though Kristen inquired as to where Seren was, he only shrugged and mumbled something as he headed towards the fridge to get a drink. He cracked open a beer and pulled out his cigarettes.
"And I thought my sisters were hard work..." He said, his shoulders slumping as he sat at the breakfast bar.
Kristen took one of the cigarettes and lit it for him. "What the hell happened?"
"One minute we were having something to eat the next we're in the middle of family warfare. Something to do with her sister, and a failed marriage, and how the whole thing had upset their mother. But their mother didn't even know she'd left her husband, or something along those lines. I had to get out of there."
It had never been his strong point, when women flew into a rage. He had never seen Seren so incensed. He was utterly turned on by it, and a little shocked. It was a side of her he had not seen before, and wondered if he would see it often. Kristen was bemused by it, as she always was, whenever he came up against something he had no idea how to handle.
"And I thought my sisters were hard work..." He said, his shoulders slumping as he sat at the breakfast bar.
Kristen took one of the cigarettes and lit it for him. "What the hell happened?"
"One minute we were having something to eat the next we're in the middle of family warfare. Something to do with her sister, and a failed marriage, and how the whole thing had upset their mother. But their mother didn't even know she'd left her husband, or something along those lines. I had to get out of there."
It had never been his strong point, when women flew into a rage. He had never seen Seren so incensed. He was utterly turned on by it, and a little shocked. It was a side of her he had not seen before, and wondered if he would see it often. Kristen was bemused by it, as she always was, whenever he came up against something he had no idea how to handle.
"I have brothers, I can't relate." She said, in that dead pan way she had. "So where is she now?"
He turned and pointed to the front door. "Outside. They're sat in the garden."
Kristen listened for their voices which would have travelled into the kitchen if they were shouting, but all was quiet.
"They must have calmed down." She said, taking a swig of Rob's beer before passing it to him.
But he sighed and his shoulders slumped.
"Do you think I'm doing the right thing?" He asked suddenly, his voice sullen and low.
Kristen looked at him in genuine surprise. "What do you mean?"
"Why aren't you telling me I'm crazy?" He asked. "That it's too much, that I should be concentrating on my career and that it's too soon."
But Kristen shrugged. "Is that how you feel?"
He looked utterly lost. "No....I don't know." And then the doubts faded. "No...of course not. It's just.... Ever since I met her it's like I've been on this rollercoaster and I wondered if I loved her too soon or too much. And I've got to finish filming in New York to the best of my ability. But I'm having these insane ideas about taking days off to bring my girlfriend to LA because she needs a break! I've already got them to change the schedule for me twice so that I could be with her. And she never asks me to, she never asks anything of me. Believe me, if she were any more demanding then I'd be glad so then I'd know she needed something of me."
Kristen placed a hand on his arm and squeezed it lightly. "Man, you've got it bad."
And he knew she was right. He'd all but lost his mind over her.
"I love her Kristen, ever since that night in the elevator I've loved her. And it goes against everything I've ever done before."
"Maybe that's why it feels so weird. Because you've never felt like this before." She suggested.
He thought about it for a moment. "Maybe you're right. How could it ever be normal with her? I could have started seeing her, taken her out for a drink and seen how it went. But I guess if I'd done that....well, who knows?"
He was glad that she didn't try to tell him otherwise. If anyone had confirmed how absurd life had been since he met her, then he'd probably have punched that person square in the face. Which would have gone against his nature, and therefore confirmed everything he'd needed to know. But then again, these life altering changes were happening all the time. Only a year before he'd been a nobody, trying to make a living making little movies nobody would ever watch. He hadn't even been sure he wanted to be an actor, with aspirations of living a life making small change with his guitar in back street pubs in London. He still had that dream, but knew it would never become real. Not now the crowds who followed him became too hysterical. He wasn't Elvis. And part of him wanted that romantic idea of being that struggling musician that nobody listened to. But it wasn't to be. And Seren had come along at a time in his life when he had had his life blown so far wide open he almost mourned the fact she hadn't come to him sooner. When he could have taken pleasure in being completely hers. They would be leaving in the morning to return to New York. And back to the reality which was theirs for the moment. But he knew it was coming. The end of the shoot. And with the crazyness of the whole situation in mind, he could not believe what he was going to ask her. But he was going to ask her, that much he knew.
"You're gone again." Kristen said, breaking into his thoughts. "Go out there and see if she's ok if you want to."
But he shook his head. "You don't interrupt sisters, trust me." He sighed and stretched the weight of the world off his shoulders. "You'd tell me if I was being a complete dick, wouldn't you?"
Kristen smiled. "It would be my pleasure."
"So if I ask her to come to Vancouver, would I be a dick?"He said, his face deadly serious.
Kristen rolled her eyes. "You're a dick for thinking it's happened too quickly, and then thinking it's a good idea to ask her to join you on your travels."
And he knew it was cruel, to make her move again. "I don't know what I'm thinking." He sighed, and then put the thought away.
But it was coming. He knew that, and he knew she did too.
It was gone midnight when Seren slipped into the bed. He was not fully asleep and turned to her.
"Kendra's staying the night. I ok'd it with Kristen." She whispered, "Then she's going to take us to the airport in the morning."
She was exhausted. Emotionally and physically. It had been the longest day. Curling up into his arms was the sweetest relief.
"I'm sorry, this shouldn't have happened. My family drama has effected you too much already. I promise you, when we get back to New York everything will go back to normal. No more insanity."
And it would have been nice, to remain there. And have a normal life. It hurt, that it couldn't be so.
"That doesn't mean my life isn't any less crazy than yours." He said quietly, resting his lips against her temple. "You know in a few weeks I wont be in New York anymore."
She closed her eyes against the thought. Of course she knew. She had buried the inevitability.
"I've told you I would come with you but you would not say the word."
He knew she would follow him, if he asked. All he had to do was say the word.
"We wont have this conversation again Rob. I know I came to New York to settle. But the reality is...I don't think I can. I felt restless as soon as I got there. And it was only for you that I settled. You know that, there would be no reason for me to stay there without you now. If I had never met you, I'd have given it my best shot. But I'd be back on the road by now....that's the truth."
He swallowed hard and lifted her head up to meet his eyes. "So will you come with me then? To Vancouver? And live in my shadow? And wait for me for hours on end? Because that's the reality."
He should have known it did not matter to her.
"You think I'll be miserable there? When compared with not being near you at all in New York. Going to work like I give a damn and then coming home to India and sure...that was the plan. That was TOTALLY the plan. And then I met you. And the plan changed. I don't even have a plan anymore!"
He half smiled in the dim light and she felt her heart plummet. To be without that? There were some things she could live with, others she could not. And that was one of them.
"Lets just go back to New York. We'll figure the rest out as we go along." She whispered as she felt his breath go deep and his eyes close.
She was too wired to sleep and so watched him for a while. His chest rising and falling, his eyes flickering in dreams. Too much too soon? Probably. But when compared with too little too late she didn't care. There was nothing left to say. He was the one. And to deny it would have been to deny her own heart. Tomorrow was a new day. And she couldn't wait for it come, because she knew it was another day with him.
"
He turned and pointed to the front door. "Outside. They're sat in the garden."
Kristen listened for their voices which would have travelled into the kitchen if they were shouting, but all was quiet.
"They must have calmed down." She said, taking a swig of Rob's beer before passing it to him.
But he sighed and his shoulders slumped.
"Do you think I'm doing the right thing?" He asked suddenly, his voice sullen and low.
Kristen looked at him in genuine surprise. "What do you mean?"
"Why aren't you telling me I'm crazy?" He asked. "That it's too much, that I should be concentrating on my career and that it's too soon."
But Kristen shrugged. "Is that how you feel?"
He looked utterly lost. "No....I don't know." And then the doubts faded. "No...of course not. It's just.... Ever since I met her it's like I've been on this rollercoaster and I wondered if I loved her too soon or too much. And I've got to finish filming in New York to the best of my ability. But I'm having these insane ideas about taking days off to bring my girlfriend to LA because she needs a break! I've already got them to change the schedule for me twice so that I could be with her. And she never asks me to, she never asks anything of me. Believe me, if she were any more demanding then I'd be glad so then I'd know she needed something of me."
Kristen placed a hand on his arm and squeezed it lightly. "Man, you've got it bad."
And he knew she was right. He'd all but lost his mind over her.
"I love her Kristen, ever since that night in the elevator I've loved her. And it goes against everything I've ever done before."
"Maybe that's why it feels so weird. Because you've never felt like this before." She suggested.
He thought about it for a moment. "Maybe you're right. How could it ever be normal with her? I could have started seeing her, taken her out for a drink and seen how it went. But I guess if I'd done that....well, who knows?"
He was glad that she didn't try to tell him otherwise. If anyone had confirmed how absurd life had been since he met her, then he'd probably have punched that person square in the face. Which would have gone against his nature, and therefore confirmed everything he'd needed to know. But then again, these life altering changes were happening all the time. Only a year before he'd been a nobody, trying to make a living making little movies nobody would ever watch. He hadn't even been sure he wanted to be an actor, with aspirations of living a life making small change with his guitar in back street pubs in London. He still had that dream, but knew it would never become real. Not now the crowds who followed him became too hysterical. He wasn't Elvis. And part of him wanted that romantic idea of being that struggling musician that nobody listened to. But it wasn't to be. And Seren had come along at a time in his life when he had had his life blown so far wide open he almost mourned the fact she hadn't come to him sooner. When he could have taken pleasure in being completely hers. They would be leaving in the morning to return to New York. And back to the reality which was theirs for the moment. But he knew it was coming. The end of the shoot. And with the crazyness of the whole situation in mind, he could not believe what he was going to ask her. But he was going to ask her, that much he knew.
"You're gone again." Kristen said, breaking into his thoughts. "Go out there and see if she's ok if you want to."
But he shook his head. "You don't interrupt sisters, trust me." He sighed and stretched the weight of the world off his shoulders. "You'd tell me if I was being a complete dick, wouldn't you?"
Kristen smiled. "It would be my pleasure."
"So if I ask her to come to Vancouver, would I be a dick?"He said, his face deadly serious.
Kristen rolled her eyes. "You're a dick for thinking it's happened too quickly, and then thinking it's a good idea to ask her to join you on your travels."
And he knew it was cruel, to make her move again. "I don't know what I'm thinking." He sighed, and then put the thought away.
But it was coming. He knew that, and he knew she did too.
It was gone midnight when Seren slipped into the bed. He was not fully asleep and turned to her.
"Kendra's staying the night. I ok'd it with Kristen." She whispered, "Then she's going to take us to the airport in the morning."
She was exhausted. Emotionally and physically. It had been the longest day. Curling up into his arms was the sweetest relief.
"I'm sorry, this shouldn't have happened. My family drama has effected you too much already. I promise you, when we get back to New York everything will go back to normal. No more insanity."
And it would have been nice, to remain there. And have a normal life. It hurt, that it couldn't be so.
"That doesn't mean my life isn't any less crazy than yours." He said quietly, resting his lips against her temple. "You know in a few weeks I wont be in New York anymore."
She closed her eyes against the thought. Of course she knew. She had buried the inevitability.
"I've told you I would come with you but you would not say the word."
He knew she would follow him, if he asked. All he had to do was say the word.
"We wont have this conversation again Rob. I know I came to New York to settle. But the reality is...I don't think I can. I felt restless as soon as I got there. And it was only for you that I settled. You know that, there would be no reason for me to stay there without you now. If I had never met you, I'd have given it my best shot. But I'd be back on the road by now....that's the truth."
He swallowed hard and lifted her head up to meet his eyes. "So will you come with me then? To Vancouver? And live in my shadow? And wait for me for hours on end? Because that's the reality."
He should have known it did not matter to her.
"You think I'll be miserable there? When compared with not being near you at all in New York. Going to work like I give a damn and then coming home to India and sure...that was the plan. That was TOTALLY the plan. And then I met you. And the plan changed. I don't even have a plan anymore!"
He half smiled in the dim light and she felt her heart plummet. To be without that? There were some things she could live with, others she could not. And that was one of them.
"Lets just go back to New York. We'll figure the rest out as we go along." She whispered as she felt his breath go deep and his eyes close.
She was too wired to sleep and so watched him for a while. His chest rising and falling, his eyes flickering in dreams. Too much too soon? Probably. But when compared with too little too late she didn't care. There was nothing left to say. He was the one. And to deny it would have been to deny her own heart. Tomorrow was a new day. And she couldn't wait for it come, because she knew it was another day with him.
"
